


The day before Valentine's

by lecksie31



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Decision Making, Love, M/M, Past, Romance, Slice of Life, Valentine's Day Special, angst i dont know angst, what is angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 12:39:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17766959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lecksie31/pseuds/lecksie31
Summary: "What are memories but echoes from the past?"How does a person know if he has truly moved on from someone he loved dearly?Oh Sehun broke up with his boyfriend four years ago and he thinks he has moved on, but did he?





	The day before Valentine's

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Valentine's special as a thank you for all my readers from my tweetfics to my two fics right here. Thank you for supporting me. This story came to me when I was stuck with my original Valentine's post so I hope you all like it.

My question is this:

_“Do you think if you had told me the truth earlier, would it have been this way? Because if you did, I think it wouldn’t hurt this bad.”_

* * *

 

**February 13, 2015**

_“I never loved you.”_

Four words.

Four simple words that had my whole world crashing down.’

Surely, I must have misheard it right?

I mean, how can that possibly be?

If you never loved me, then when you waited out there on the pouring rain for me to go out and forgive you because we fought over something,  
was that just an act?

If you never loved me, then that special dinner you prepare for me, where you cooked all my favorite dishes, where you set up flower petals on the bed and scented candles to relax me, when you went gentle on me knowing it is my first time,  
was that a lie?

If you never loved me, then when we visited your parent’s grave and you told them that you love me and that it was your first time bringing someone here,  
was that a joke?

If you never loved me, then the dreams we conjured, the plans we made, how you told me I was the only person you can imagine spending your future with,  
what was that?

You gave me the perfect Valentine’s gift, even a day early.

You gifted me: a **FOUR WORD breakup speech.**

* * *

 

 Who would have thought I would spend the next years trying to forget you?

I had decided: I was going to move on from you and forget you completely but how can I possibly do that when everything I see reminds me of you?

 

Every morning, I wake up to you smiling at me and then cuddling until we both have to get up to get ready for work.

_Now, I have to wake up with this empty space on my left._

I never get a single drop of coffee because you would coax me to give the cup to you, you would drink it and tell me that caffeine is no good for my health anyways.

_Now I have no one to share my coffee with._

Before heading to work, we go by this donut store, I don’t even have to say anything, I just have to pay and they will give me two glazed donuts because we go here every day they already know what we'll be having, all because we cuddled too much again this morning, so we were running late.

_Now, I don’t even want to see the sight of donuts._

During lunch breaks, we always go to the tea shop near the office before going back to the office.

_Now, I don’t take lunch breaks, I work through it._

Before heading home, we stop by this book store to see if our favorite series have any new releases.

_Now, I don’t even attempt to go in because it would remind me of you._

 

How can I forget the way you smile at me and how your lips curve up slowly when you do?

How can I forget the way you look at me as if I am your whole world?

How do I forget the way you teased me of being a baby whenever I do not give in to what you want me to do?

How do I forget the way your eyes would light up whenever you spot me in a crowd of people?

How can I forget the way you held my hand whenever something bad happens to me?

How can I forget the way you made my heart flutter whenever you kiss my brains out?

 

But I guess, eventually when the heart gets used to the pain, it becomes numb enough not to feel anything.

I learned to close my heart to anyone who attempted to get any closer to it.

And yet, at the same time, I knew the only way I was ever going to move on is if I embrace all the memories we had together instead of trying to forget them. I realized I had to accept that they were happy moments but now they are of the past and I can never go back to that time.

 

So, I learned to get used to waking up on my bed alone.

I learned to drink the whole cup of coffee in the mornings.

I got used to ordering one glazed donut instead of two.

I order myself a bubble tea for every lunch break.

I go by the book store every evening to check any updates on the new series I’m starting out.

 

They say it is called desensitizing, doing the things we used to do until I’m finally able to do it on my own without crying.

I call it learning how to live without you.

* * *

 

**February 13, 2019**

How can you say you have moved on from someone? Can you completely forget a person you have once loved? Does love really fade away with time?

_“Baek, how are you so sure that you have moved on from Chanyeol?”_

_“It’s simple really. You see, one day, I saw him. We met by chance and decided to have a cup of coffee and talked about our lives. And then, that was it, we parted ways. I didn’t even feel anything, Sehunnie. It was just like catching up with an old friend. I was glad and I felt peaceful because even though we didn’t have the best breakup, the time we spent apart has caused us to forgive each other for all the hurt we have caused one another. He told me he’s getting married to Kyungsoo, his high school sweetheart back in the old days. I was genuinely happy for them and that was when I was sure I have moved on. It’s when the thought of the other person or their presence do not make you feel the same excitement as before.”_

Talking to Baekhyun made Sehun realize that he’ll never really know if he has moved on unless he sees him again. He was currently at the grocery store picking up some ingredients for the chocolates he will be making for tomorrow: Valentine’s day.

As if fate was playing on him, there was Junmyeon at the end of the aisle.

And as much as he hated to admit it,

The sight of Junmyeon’s side profile,

May have possibly made his heart skip a beat.

****

Sehun decides to approach the man.

_“Junmyeon?”_

The person looks at him and he is Junmyeon in the flesh but somehow, something seems off about him.

_“You know my twin brother?”_

_“Junmyeon has a twin? Are you kidding me? Junmyeon, I’m not buying this joke, okay? Just tell me you hate me and I’ll go.”_

_“It’s true, I’m Jang Jun, I’m not Junmyeon. We were separated from birth so we never really got to know each other, but that’s a long story. I only knew I had a twin brother, let’s see, 4 years ago, he was on his deathbed by then. Stage 4 cancer. Even he couldn’t believe it, but life is crazy that way, we met and said good byes to each other. He didn’t tell me anything but thank God I finally found someone who knows him. By any chance, do you know a person named Oh Sehun?”_

_“T-t-that’s me.”_

_“Oh,this is great news. Here, my brother left this with me to give it to you. I always carried it with me just in case I met you and now here you are. I have to go now, Yixing, my husband is waiting for me outside. It was nice meeting you, Sehun, maybe we can meet again some other time.”_

Sehun accepts the envelope being handed to him and exchanges phone numbers with Jun before the latter leaves.

After a few minutes, Sehun comes back to his senses. He was actually still waiting for the “twin brother” to come back and say it was all a prank. He’d rather have Junmyeon tell him he hates him than to have it put this way. But that man really didn’t know him, he saw it in his eyes.

He dropped everything on the basket, left the store and headed straight to his house.

The moment he got into his home, he went to the sofa and opened the envelope. Inside was a hand-written letter.

_Junmyeon’s handwriting._

* * *

February 15, 2015

Dearest Sehun,

            My love, my universe.

            Forgive me, I didn’t know what to do. Please know that I didn’t mean it when I said I never loved you. That was the biggest lie I have ever said but it was for your sake so I did it anyway.

            I didn’t want you to get more hurt by continuing to love a person who is set to die in a few days. It’s cancer, it’s killing me and I only learned about it the other day, the day before we broke up. The doctor said I had a month left to live.

            But I didn’t want to give up on you, Sehun, please believe me. I went by different doctors, had a second opinion, third, fourth, fifth, all I can get. If there was one who would say I still had hope, I’d have taken it, but no one did so I made my decision to break up with you.

            I don’t want you to experience the pain of having the person you love dearly, wasting away right before your eyes. I didn’t want you to feel as hopeless and helpless the way I did as I watched my mother take her last breath before me and I couldn’t do anything to help her.

            I hope one day, you will forgive me for breaking your heart, Sehun.

            I love you, that is the truth, I hope you know that.

            And because I love you, I hope you forget me.

            Forget me and all the memories we made.

            Forget everything we had and find someone who will make your heart flutter.

            Find someone who will love you the way you’re supposed to be loved.

            This is my last wish, Sehun: that you eventually find someone who will care for you and love you more than I had and more than I ever could because you deserve to be loved, Sehun.

            You deserve the world and I’m sorry I couldn’t stay alive long enough to give it to you.

            Please forget me, let me go and be happy from now on.

Love,  
Kim Junmyeon

* * *

 

 

_Maybe this was the answer I have been looking for all this time._

_You gave me yet another great Valentine's gift in advance._

_You gifted me: **closure.**  _

 

_Thank you, Junmyeon, I hope you are happy wherever you are._

Sehun wipes the tears from his eyes, puts the letter back into the envelope and holds it close to his heart for a while.

 


End file.
